FLORIDA: “Not the breast getaway moves,” read
the headline. A female bandit was arrested fleeing from police while riding
topless on a bike. Courtney Backes, 32, was accused of stealing a pair of $20
flip flops and other gear from a surf shop in Okaloosa Island, then wildly
pedaling away down the middle of a nearby highway, according to police. When an
officer asked her to pull over, she allegedly fired back, “Make me” – and was
charged with retail theft and resisting arrest.

CANADA: Phony Cop gets copped. A druggie
dressed up as a police officer and staged an elaborate phony police raid –
shouting, “Where are your drugs?” – all to get his hand on the homeowners’
stash, officials said. Daniel Thomas, 36, stormed the house in Lilydale,
Saskatchewan, prompting two men to hand over bags of crystal meth and marijuana.
He was later arrested and pleaded guilty to burglary and other charges.

COLORADO: In this case DWI meant Driving While Idiotic.
A Denver man was recently charged with operating a vehicle while under the
influence when he rammed a police patrol car while riding on a stand-up
scooter. The man was hospitalized with minor injuries after the crash which
happened near Coors Field.

FLORIDA: Dumb as
dirt idiot… It has been reported that a man used a front-end loader to dump
a huge pile of topsoil on his girlfriend’s white Cadillac, police allege.
Hunter Mills, 20, was so mad at his girlfriend for refusing to answer a
question, he allegedly unleashed the mud bomb on her car in Okaloosa County.
The woman’s window was open at the time and her car suffered $8,000 in damages.
Mills has been charged with criminal mischief.

CALIFORNIA: It’s a lock that Raul Ruiz will win a
seat in Congress… The voters have no choice but to elect Raul Ruiz to
Congress. Why? It is because both candidates on the ballot in the state’s 36
district are named Raul Ruiz. Four term Democrat incumbent Ruiz, 47, is facing
off against Raul Ruiz, a 57-year-old Republican carpenter. May the best man
win.

The post Weird Criminal Law Stories # 632: Not The Breast Getaway Moves appeared first on Birdsong’s Law Blog.