ARIZONA: Creepy Unicorn? A man in a pink unicorn costume has been seen several times outside a junior high school in February 2020. He was seen near Woodard JHS in Yuma. Police determined the unicorn man was a low-level threat, and since he was not on school grounds, they couldn’t compel him to move along. However, parents are not pleased with this information. “He’s running around in a unicorn suit riding an electric scooter,” said one school father.
AUSTRALIA: This is not a crime story, but it is a bit crappy. Recently, a woman accidentally ordered a 12-year supply of toilet paper. Haidee Janetzki, a resident of the city of Toowoomba, bought the 2,304 roll online from the retailer “Who Gives a Crap.” Ms. Janetzki normally ordered 48 rolls every three months, but she mistakenly ordered 48 boxes each holding 48 rolls. We learn that Ms. J and her husband wound up creating a toilet paper castle out of the boxes.
FLORIDA: They once used soap to wash out a student’s mouth. We learn that a middle-school teacher was suspended for washing out a student’s mouth with hand sanitizer because the youngster talked to much in class. The Palm Beach County school board suspended Guyette Duhart from her job at Polo Park Middle School in the town of Wellington for 10 days over the dirty move.
CALIFORNIA: Grand Theft Auto (Hearse)… A stolen hearse with a casket and body inside was recovered following a police chase on a L.A. highway on a Thursday morning in February 2020. The body was found in the casket inside the vehicle and one person was taken into custody after being pursued by police on the 110 Freeway around 7:45 AM. L.A County Sheriff’s Department said on Twitter. No other information on the thief and his motive was immediately available. However, we learn that the black Lincoln hearse war stolen from outside St. Anthony Greek orthodox Church in East Pasadena on Wednesday night. Police allege that the body in the casket did not appear to have been disturbed.
CHILE: An Archaeological slap in the Face. We learn that a dense driver slammed his truck into one of the scared stone “Moai” facial sculpture on Easter Island, destroying it. The Chilean man was arrested for damaging a national monument, which was built between 1250 and 1500 AD. DIMWIT!
CANADA: Bird Brain Idiot left behind a bag containing cocaine, $20,000 in cash – and his ID. Police in Canada say they wish to “reunite” the brown satchel “left by mistake” at a Vancouver hardware store in mid-March 2020. “Thankfully, the owner was very helpful and left behind his identification with contact information and address,” police said.