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Postscript: I intended to only share this with my family. But after an evening of thought decide that being real to me – means sharing not only the good and bad, but also the humiliating. Because there is comfort in knowing that we are all in this thing call being human – together.

May 13, 2021.

I’m walking to home depot. Along the perimeter of Central Park West.

Return call from Rosemary. She is getting tested for covid so she can go to Hawaii. Needs to call me back. 5 minutes later am at Columbus Circle. Phone rings.

We chit chat about the test for one minute. And then here’s how it goes:

RM: I have something serious I need to talk to you about.

K3: [Am thinking oh no what happened are you okay.] Say: of course.

RM: Well, I wasn’t sure if I should tell you.

K3: Of course you should. What’s going on. [am thinking what bad thing did she encounter…]

RM: Did you know that Michael is on bumble.

K3: Pause.

K3: Continue the Pause

K3. Do you mean my Michael.

RM: Yes.

K3. [Brain is reorienting itself.]

RM: I was scrolling through my dating app feed. Bumble.

K3: mmmhmmm…

RM: And you know. You flip through. And I flipped all the way through and at the end… there was Michael.

K3: [Still walking]. What do you mean.

RM: I was looking at a picture of Michael. Blonde. Your Michael.

K3: As in Michael is on Bumble. [Did I hear that right…]

RM: Yes. There were several pictures.

K3: Did it have a bio.

RM: Yes.

K3: Wow.

RM: I wasn’t sure if I should tell you. I felt terrible.

K3: Of course you should. Thank you.

RM: I was talking to my neighbor and asked her. She said – well how often do you talk to her. And I said 5 to 6 times a week. And she said – well you definitely have to tell her.

K3: This is unreal. He was just here [in NYC] for a week and there was no sign of any problem.

RM: Maybe it’s a well…I guess maybe it’s not what it looks like. I don’t know how long he’s been on it.

K3: Oh, like maybe he left it up there since four and a half years ago when we started dating.

RM: Well, not that long. There are pictures of your cabin.

K3: [Trial lawyer brain says…] Did you save the pictures.

RM: Yes. I took screen shots.

K3: Send them to me. [Evidence].

RM: Are you sure.

K3: Oh yes.

RM: All of them.

K3: Oh yes. Including the profile statements. [Give me all the evidence].

RM: Are you sure you want to see that.

K3: Oh yes.

RM: Okay.

K3: Thank you.

RM: Okay. I love you.

K3: I love you too.

5 minutes pass. Am still walking. But around an entire NY city block. Pace around a McDonalds, furniture store, and several restaurants. The pictures show up. There are 7. I’ve seen them all before. Except a selfie that he just took standing in front of his bathroom mirror. I know this because he just had his hair cut 3 weeks ago. There are some from recent hikes and a cabin shot I took last fall. Definitely not four years old.

The profile reads: “Covid vaccinated. I cook. I love to hike, ski. I have a bike, too. I own my townhome, I have a job. I’m easy going. I miss having someone close in my life.”


Wait one minute. Calm the way a trial lawyer appears when things are not happening the way they should be in trial. Text him the profile photos without explanation. Then text them to the girls. Alysha and Noelle immediately group chat with me.

Meanwhile Michael calls. He’s gotten the pretty pictures. I let it go to VM. It says: Hey it’s me um what’s going on can you talk to me thanks.

I’m thinking: um no I can’t talk to you.

Then he texts back. It shows up directly under his bumble profile photo that I sent him: what’s this? I don’t know where this came from?

K3: It’s your bumble profile. You were suggested as a match for my friend.

M: I will load the app and see what’s going on.

K3: Not necessary

I read this to the girls who want to do him bodily harm. I don’t though. He’s just struggling to figure out what to do and messing things up ever worse. I feel badly for him. They tell me not to.

His text pops up: How was your day.

As if he didn’t just get caught. He can’t acknowledge it.

I pass by McDonalds 6 times. The girls are worried and want to make sure I’m okay. Mainly am in shock. He was just here. We have never had a fight. Apparently he was unhappy.

Sign off with kisses and love to the girls. Pick up lightbulbs at Home Depot. Walk back a mile to drop stuff off at the apartment. Head back down and out the door. Over one block to the left on Amsterdam. Watch the movie – Finding You. With five other people in the big empty post covid theater. Return home. Facetime with Cristina. Who cheers me up with naked baby antics from Liam and Sophia.

Write Michael a bye bye note. Write this blog.

And call it a day.

Photo: May 8, 2021.