Bob Connolly

July 4th has come and gone and still there the Antitrust Division, US Department of Justice has no permanent leader. Reluctantly,  I declare myself a new entrant into the market for the job.

From press reports it seems many qualified potential leaders are knocked out because of they have previous articulated positions–pro or con–related to high technology companies and high-tech. I can assure everyone that I can articulate no portions on these matters.  I have to ask for help to simply reboot my laptop.  Or is it router? Or modem?  Are these different things?  Look at Cartel Capers.  Eight years in and I have no video, no ads, just the minimum basics WordPress can help anyone set up.

I do have an Amazon account but only to watch some of the cartoons they have on Amazon Prime Video. They have the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show (the remake, not the superior original).  I no longer use Facebook after I only got one “Like” on my last really witty post (and I had to “Like” my own post).  I do use Google and I own an Apple phone.  I often curse both but I would never hold that against those companies because I know anything that goes wrong is user error 99% of the time.

From my prior time with the Division I have experience prosecuting cartels.  I have won some and lost some.  I promise to keep that record alive if appointed.

I really don’t understand much of what the economists say but I am smart enough to know that they are smarter than me, so I’ll let them decide. Unless that would make the lawyers mad because, well, there’s a lot more of them.

During my time as Chief of the Philadelphia Office I honed my management style along the lines of the great New York Yankees former manager,  Casey Stengel:  “The secret to managing is to keep the half of the team that hates you away from the half of the team that’s undecided.”  Yogi Berra asked, “What about the other half?”

My last qualification: Since I have been spectacularly unsuccessful in attracting clients during my time in private practice I will rarely, if ever, have to recuse myself from any matters.  Um, wait, that might be a bad thing.

The career staff at the Division have been doing a great job in the absence of a permanent leader but they are probably anxious find out who the new boss will be.  I caution, however, ”Be careful what you ask for!”  I was looking forward to a new boss when the Obama Administration took over.  I got a new boss–and then my office and three other field office were shut down.  Ouch!

….Upon reflection, I am not going to throw my hat in the ring.  Working  in the Department of Justice is a dream job for any lawyer. But when you start, you only get two weeks’ vacation, and that is accrued over time. I have a vacation scheduled in August.  And September.  And October.  Good luck to all potential candidates.  If the job is still open after my October vacation I may reconsider.

Thanks for reading.

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