How do you get past when something horrible happens to you?
Quickly go into survival mode, become self protective, cut out the naysayers and trust your intuition.
Reframe your mindset and look at things from a different perspective. Actually put it into perspective. Take control of what you can control, and become your own advocate. Stop listening to what others say and think about you. Ignore the naysayers and the haters.
Focus on things within your control. Make a list of all the things you can’t control and give yourself permission to stop worrying about them. Instead, focus on any actions you can take that can help you.
Look back at examples where you’ve coped with uncertainty and change before to help you deal with your current situation.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. You’ll find that even the most upsetting feelings will pass, the trauma of these tough times will start to fade and you’ll be able to find a path forward.
Going through tough times usually involves some kind of loss. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the loss of your old life, it’s important you allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. Only by facing your grief—acknowledging and mourning your losses—will you be able to heal and eventually move on with your life.
Focus on self-love and healing. Remind yourself that you will survive.
We must always have faith in ourselves. We are more resilient than we think we are.
Whenever something terrible happens to me, I invest in myself and make my goals my number 1 priority. This gives me something on which to focus and to channel my energy.
I retreat, become a much more private person and focus on me. I surround myself with those that want me to succeed and grow.
My blog has helped me in so many ways and that is not an exaggeration. It gave me a purpose and an outlet to deal with so many things when I felt lost.
In a short period of time, I was dealing with the death of my mom from cancer, I was ganged up on by my some of my closest female friends, and at the same time, my significant other left me for one of our mutual acquaintances and made me move out of our home. I lost my job as a result of this trauma, and I needed to seek help for depression.
All of this was the wake-up call I needed to jolt me off the path on which I was. I was miserable with my ex. Those friends were really frenemies. I had outgrown my job. It’s amazing how many narcissists I had in my life who were so damaging to me.
My life looked perfect from the outside especially if you looked at my social media feed, but it was anything but. For example in this photo I was on vacation in a beautiful tropical place and miserable because I was in a relationship that was controlling and unhealthy for me. I had friends who enjoyed stirring up drama and liked seeing me fail. I needed a clean slate.
I needed to completely change the direction of my life and let these people go, but I hated change – so I let life happen to me instead of making decisions on my own.
I have never been happier than I am today – and it’s been a little less than two years since all of those horrible things happened to me. While I can’t erase them from my memory, I can learn from them.
I am living proof that you can rebuild your life (even in the midst of a pandemic). Today I have the most amazing friends, family and support network, and I even built a business! I don’t talk about my personal life on the blog, but rest assured, I found happiness there too.
Once you come out of a difficult period, you often find yourself enlightened, wiser, a little guarded but thankful that you made it through that trying time.
Remember that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes and
- Believe in yourself
- Listen to yourself
- Take chances by betting on yourself
- Step into your fears – move out of your comfort zone
- See your value
- Walk away from people who don’t see your value or who betray you in any way
- Trust your intuition
We are all works in progress, but as long as believe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now and you are doing the best you can, you will be okay.
As my photo says – “Life is a combination of magic and pasta” – at least that’s what this Italian girl always believes! It is never too late to start over and become a better version of you.
What have you been working on? What do you want to achieve?