It’s the time of year that people in bad marriages start to think about divorce. Sometimes it’s because around the holidays people take inventory of their life and don’t like where the are. Sometimes being in close quarters with the cold weather pushes people over the edge. Other times it’s a new year and they want a new life. For some the kids are old enough or out of the house. The reasons go on and on and the reality is that whatever reason you choose is fine.
It takes courage to file for divorce. Some people are too embarrassed to do so or can’t see another life. Economically it can definitely be a challenge for a lot of people. If you can barely afford one apartment, how can you afford two between the two of you?
I’m not here to tell you to get divorced or not. That’s something you need to decide. What I can tell you is that I’ve learned a few things about it over the years and that a divorce in Illinois can be a good thing.
First off, divorce doesn’t mean failure, but instead means that the relationship has run its course. While your ideal situation might have been to stay married forever, if you were in a good relationship for ten years, produced children you love, etc., that can be a successful relationship whose time just ended. There is nothing to be ashamed about that.
Second, things will get better. If you are thinking about divorce, you probably aren’t in a great situation, but the heartbreak of divorce or the stress of it, especially if there are kids, can be too much to think about. It very likely will be hard at first, but eventually you will realize that it’s starting to get better.
Third, for so many people I know, not only does it get better, but they are so much happier five years from when they started. It’s not a time in your life you can likely envision, but you should. The things you hated about your marriage will likely be gone and for many people they are ready for a new, better relationship and able to find it. They know what they want and don’t want and are able to make better choices for themselves.
These three things might not sound like much right now or you may think your situation is different and you may be right. Nobody goes through a divorce and thinks that it was an awesome experience, but lots of people who can’t picture their life in 5-10 years right now will look back some day and wish that they could have given themselves a pep talk.
Bonus thought. Therapy is really beneficial when you are in this type of situation whether you go forward with a break up or not.
And if you’d like to ask a lawyer questions for free and in confidence, contact us any time at 312-346-5320.