Empathy To Stronger Your Client Relationships

By Steve Fretzin & Larry Smith

Empathy To Stronger Your Client Relationships 

Success in the legal profession requires more than just legal expertise; it demands empathy, patience, and the ability to connect deeply with clients. Our conversation with Larry Smith, managing partner at Smith Marco, turned about what it means to be an empathetic lawyer and how developing that skill can improve client relationships and lead to better outcomes. Larry’s perspective aligns with my own experience, and I believe his approach offers valuable lessons for any attorney who aims to strengthen their practice by connecting with clients on a human level. 

In the legal world, we often jump into problem-solving mode too quickly. Lawyers are trained to analyze, dissect, and offer solutions. But as Larry pointed out, the human side of practicing law is equally important. His journey toward becoming an empathetic attorney was sparked by a story he heard early in his career. A former Marine and debt collection manager shared how his experience with a 9/11 widow changed his perspective forever. While harshly pressing a client to repay a debt, the Marine learned that the woman’s husband had died in the Twin Towers, and her life had been in shambles ever since. That moment stopped him in his tracks. He left his job and committed his career to teaching others about the importance of empathy. This story left a lasting impression on Larry, shaping how he approaches his own clients, always reminding himself that you never know what someone is going through on the other side. 

Larry’s approach to empathy goes beyond surface-level niceties. It’s about truly listening and holding back the urge to immediately jump into case analysis. This is something I’ve seen time and again with lawyers who struggle to make genuine connections with their clients. Too often, we’re so focused on solving the legal problem that we forget to listen to the emotional, psychological, and even physical challenges our clients are facing. As Larry shared, when a client comes to him, his first priority is to let them speak. He doesn’t start running through case scenarios or playing devil’s advocate right away. Instead, he gives them the space to explain their fears and anxieties. This approach builds trust, and it’s something every lawyer should strive for. 

One key takeaway from my conversation with Larry was the importance of slowing down. As lawyers, we often rush through meetings, aiming to wrap things up quickly to move on to the next task. But in doing so, we miss the opportunity to dig deeper into what our clients are really facing. Larry has adjusted his client intake process in a way that allows him to get to know his clients over multiple meetings, rather than trying to extract every detail in a single conversation. He believes that building rapport takes time, and the more opportunities he gives his clients to share, the more likely they are to open up about critical issues that could affect their case. 

This slower, more thoughtful approach doesn’t just build trust—it helps uncover important details that might otherwise be missed. For example, Larry shared how, after several conversations with a client, he finally learned that her stress was largely due to the fact that her son was in federal prison and she was responsible for his children. This piece of information was crucial, yet it didn’t come out in the initial meetings. The lesson here is that clients often need time to feel comfortable enough to share the full scope of their situation. Rushing through the process can result in missed opportunities to fully understand the client’s needs and concerns. 

Larry also emphasized the importance of managing difficult clients. Every lawyer has dealt with clients who are stressed, angry, or frustrated—and that emotional intensity can spill over into their interactions with us. Larry’s strategy for handling these situations is rooted in empathy. He understands that his clients are often in crisis, and he reminds himself that they are likely dealing with personal battles he knows nothing about. Before engaging with a difficult client, Larry makes sure to check his own emotional state. He doesn’t pick up the phone immediately or respond out of frustration. Instead, he takes a moment to clear his mind, ensuring he’s in the right headspace to handle the conversation effectively. 

I’ve coached many lawyers who struggle with this aspect of client management. We get so caught up in the day-to-day demands of running a firm that we forget to take care of our own mental state. Larry’s advice here is critical: take a beat before engaging, especially when emotions are high. This simple act of preparation can make a world of difference in how you respond to a client’s concerns and, ultimately, in the strength of your relationship with them. 

As our conversation wrapped up, Larry and I agreed on one fundamental truth: empathy is not just a nice-to-have skill—it’s a necessity in today’s legal world. Clients are looking for more than just technical expertise; they want to know that their lawyer understands them on a human level. Empathy builds trust, and trust is what keeps clients loyal, even when things get tough. 

For lawyers looking to improve in this area, Larry offered some practical advice. Start by preparing mentally before every client conversation, especially the difficult ones. Remember that every client is fighting their own battle, and your job is to help them feel heard and understood. And most importantly, take the time to build relationships over multiple interactions. Empathy, like any skill, takes practice, but the rewards—both personal and professional—are well worth the effort.

For more information about taking your law practice to the next level, please email me directly at steve@fretzin.com.

Steve Fretzin, an expert at legal business development, is the author of four books regarding the topic and is the host of the Be That Lawyer podcast. He has helped hundreds of attorneys across the world dramatically grow their book of business while living a well-balanced life. He can be reached at steve@fretzin.com.

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