Those of you who know me know I dote over my grandsons. It’s over the top I admit but, hey, I’m entitled.
The other day the oldest one said something that resonated with me so completely I’m not going to forget it. He said, “I coexist with having fun.”
I’m not sure he realized the depth of his words. All too often we miss the fun in our lives because we don’t let ourselves have fun. We worry incessantly about what others think about us, and the impact of the words we use or our actions. Something good happens or someone gives us a compliment (or in my case I win an award) and we immediately question it. They didn’t really mean it. I wasn’t entitled. I don’t deserve it.
We worry over things we can’t control. The minutes of lives are filled not with the fun of it but with the dangers luring. We over think everything.
And that’s why especially on this 4th I worry about our country and where its headed. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I worry about the relationships in my life. But too often all that worry? It just doesn’t matter in the end.“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Worrying about all these things deprives us from enjoying what we have. As a friend once said look at what you have not what you don’t. It’s a hell of a better way to live your life.
All of this is particularly a problem now when we communicate and our relationships are shaped by texts and emails. By written words, short phrases with abbreviations and goofy emojis when saying something in person and or even on the phone would be so much better. When did we get to the point that a simple phone call with a friend or family member required an appointment by the way? When did it get so hard to say I love you right out loud?
It’s an even greater problem for us lawyers. We are trained to do the complete opposite than coexisting with the fun in our lives. We are trained to and succeed by finding problems. By looking for the dark lining in every cloud. We never turn off. We never relax. It’s so hard for us to simply enjoy the moment.
Y’all call it a moment. I call it life.
Now let’s stop time
And enjoy this moment
Pitbull with Christina Aguilera
The truth is all any of us really have is time. And time is so precious because it is limited. The older I get the more precious and valuable it becomes.
As the Tony D’Amato said in the movie Any Given Sunday, “That’s what happens when you get old. Things get taken from you. That’s part of life.”
You get to be my age, death seems all around you. In your family. In your friends. In your colleagues. People you loved, admired and respected. But as Steve Jobs put it, “almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”
So I don’t know about the rest of you but this 4th I’m going to assume the best of everyone until proven to the contrary. I’m going to accept and be thankful for things as they are and not what I expect or envision they ought to be. I’m going to accept and believe what people say and do.
I’m going to be thankful and appreciate the gifts in my life. My family and my friends: as another friend recently pointed out, family and friends are a blessing beyond words especially when you need them the most.
I’m going to feel good about myself. I’m going to hug my kids and family. I’m going to tell my friends that I appreciate them. No strings attached. I’m going to make sure I tell someone special I love them.
And I’m going to head to the beach. I’m going to crack open some Prosecco and light some fireworks. I’m going to try the best I can to coexist with having fun every day in every way.
And yeah, I know. This post has nothing to do with tech other than to point out how often it gets in the way. But it has everything to do with life.
Happy 4th everyone. What will you be doing this 4th to coexist with having fun?