For parents of higher-functioning children with
disabilities, one of the key decisions when their child turns 18 is whether
guardianship is necessary. While the goal is often to help children live as
independently as possible, there are situations where additional support may be
needed, particularly in making significant decisions. Striking the right
balance between independence and support is crucial, and careful planning can
help ensure the best choices are made for the child’s future.
I often suggest to parents that they start by creating a
list of the pros and cons of guardianship. It’s a helpful way to explore how
guardianship might fit into your child’s life and what kind of role you would
like to play in their future. Here are a few questions to consider:
Will the Parent Need to Step in for Important Decisions?
As parents, it’s natural to want your adult child to feel
independent and capable, and sometimes there’s a concern that guardianship may
carry a stigma. The desire to protect your child from feeling limited or less
than others is understandable. However, there are important factors to
consider.
How does your child respond in emergencies? There may be
times when you need to make crucial decisions, especially if your child is
unable to communicate during a stressful situation like a meltdown. As a
parent, you are best positioned to understand your child’s needs, making your
involvement in such moments essential.
Encouraging independence is important, but in some cases,
you may need to step in for your child’s safety. One thing to consider is that
in emergency situations, if guardianship has not been established, you may find
yourself needing to go to court for approval to make decisions, which could
cause delays in timely intervention. Weighing these factors thoughtfully can
help you make the best decision for your child’s well-being.
Is the Child Being Given Enough Independence?
I’ve encountered many parents who, understandably, are
deeply protective of their children. It’s a natural instinct, especially when
they want to ensure their child is safe and well cared for. However, it is
crucial to evaluate whether enough space is being given for the child to grow
toward independence.
As parents, we may feel compelled to step in and assist, but
it’s equally important to provide opportunities for the child to make their own
decisions in key areas—whether it’s social relationships, work, or living
arrangements.
The question isn’t just about protection—it’s about helping
your child develop the independence they need to thrive. Reflecting on this can
help guide you in finding the right balance for their future.
Limited Guardianship: A Tailored Option for Increased
Independence
If full guardianship seems unnecessary, limited guardianship
can be a useful option. In Massachusetts, limited guardianship allows a child
to maintain independence in many aspects of life, such as keeping their right
to vote, choosing where to live, or working, while the parent retains authority
for more specific decisions, such as medical care and education.
This approach allows the child to make key life decisions,
while the parent remains involved in decisions that are more complex. Limited
guardianship may strike a balance by ensuring that the child is supported in
critical areas, without restricting their ability to live independently in
others.
Finding the Right Support
Every child’s needs are unique, and there is no
one-size-fits-all approach to guardianship. Parents should evaluate their
child’s specific needs, their own comfort level, and how they can best support
the child’s independence and future. Professional guidance can be invaluable in
helping parents make informed decisions. A guardianship evaluation can also
clarify whether a guardian is necessary.
Final Thoughts
Finding the right balance between independence and support
for your child is never easy. Even if you feel confident in your decision, it’s
important to consider how your child feels about it. Do you anticipate
resistance or pushback from them? Could the decision create tension or strain
your relationship? These are questions worth reflecting on. Having an open
conversation with your child about their feelings and including them in the
dialogue can help create understanding and ease any potential concerns.
While guardianship may not be necessary for every family, it
can offer the right structure for those who need additional support in specific
areas. Taking the time to explore all available options and seeking
professional guidance can empower you to make a choice that will best support
your child’s future, fostering both their independence and well-being.
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