This article originally appeared on Forbes.com.
What does happiness mean to you?
Healthy relationships? A good job? Time spent with your family?
The truth is, there are as many definitions of happiness as there are stars in the night sky because happiness looks different for each of us.
But here is something we all share in common: If we’re not happy, life is unsettling and unsatisfying.
So today I want to share four tips to help you find happiness in your own life.
1. Define happiness on your terms.
Your happiness is not the same as anyone else’s happiness. What makes me happy might not make you happy. And vice versa! So the first step in finding happiness in your life is simply defining what happiness looks like for you.
Let’s dream for a moment. Imagine that money is not an obstacle and that fear can’t hold you back.
What would your life look like?
How would you spend your time?
Would you travel? Where would you go?
What would your family time look like?
What type of work would you do?
Who would you spend your time with?
Make a list of what your dream life would look like. That is a powerful clue as to what happiness looks like for you.
2. Focus on what’s going right.
It’s very easy for us to get caught up in the weeds of life: the frustrations, annoyances and challenges. But the truth is, if you really stop and think about it, you’ll probably realize that there’s a whole lot to love about your life.
Take some time right now to focus on those things. What are five things you like about your professional life? What are five things you like about your life outside of work?
Pretty great, right?
We have so much to be grateful for. And it’s so important to focus on gratitude because that helps us to find happiness in our lives today, instead of getting tripped up by the little weeds that pop up and drag us down.
3. Make you a priority.
As professionals, we are always focused on so many things — our clients, our colleagues, our bosses, our community, our family … and the list goes on and on.
That doesn’t leave much time and energy to focus on ourselves, does it?
As I tell my clients, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others, period.
As flight attendants across the world instruct us, in case of emergency, put on your oxygen mask first, and then help those around you.
You have to take care of yourself. Listen to your body. Stop working and take a break when you need it. Give yourself enough time to sleep (I know, easier said than done, but sleep is so important). Get serious about nutrition. Make time for the people, places, and things that energize and inspire you.
It’s hard to be happy when you’re sick, exhausted, and stressed. Take care of yourself, and then you’ll have the energy to take care of your other priorities. And you’ll be able to enjoy your life in the process!
4. Redefine failure.
Failure is a terrifying word for most of us. But it shouldn’t be. Oprah Winfrey, who I think is one of the most successful and inspiring people the world has ever known, says that “there is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”
Oprah would know — because, for all of her success, she’s experienced plenty of failures, as well. But one of the things that makes Oprah so special is that her failures didn’t keep her from moving forward and creating her next big success. And we can all learn something from that.
The fear of failure is one of the biggest things that holds us back from pursuing true happiness in our lives. Starting today, I want you to look at this through a different lens. Failure doesn’t exist! It’s just life moving you in a different direction.
Find Your Happiness
I want you to find your happiness.
It starts by defining what happiness looks like for you. Make a conscious effort to focus on what’s going right in your life. Take care of yourself; put your own oxygen mask on first. And finally, redefine failure so that fear can’t hold you back.
Here’s to your happiness!