I happened upon Caleb Leverett’s video from 11 years ago by accident. Be forewarned that this is a long video but you can skip through it. Caleb, the father of 14 year old Parker Leverett is recording the video the entire time. It is 2pm on a Sunday and there is a court order by the terms of which Parker is due to return to his mom’s custody. Father has driven Parker to mom’s house but Parker states he wants to live with his father and does not want to leave the truck. After 9 minutes of exchange mom calls the police to seek their intervention. Because it not an emergency the police take nearly 40 minutes to arrive on the scene. By that time Parker’s mother is starting to cry. The conduct of the police and Parker’s stepfather are exemplary. But as the police begin to equivocate over enforcing the order based on Father’s assertion that “I’m not going to kick my son out” [when he doesn’t want to return home].
Parker says his refusal is the product of 2 years of conflict with his mother. He asserts that his mother has been physical with him. Then he becomes quite emotional shouting “Please for the love of God don’t make me go.” His father tells him so long as he is “honest” he will be fine.
After an hour the police tell the child that, the court order says he is in his mother’s custody and that his mother has the right to retrieve him from the car. The police add that this needs to be resolved before it becomes a domestic disturbance. Mom remains insistent that he must return. Parker says he won’t go. Then the dynamic starts to shift. The police announce they cannot act; this is a civil matter. Then the discussion turns to whether the child assaulted his mother when closing the truck window while her hand was inside. Parker begins to yell that he did nothing wrong and yet his mother wants him arrested. At 1:08 Parker leaves the truck and goes into his mom’s house to get his things. At 1:10 he returns to the truck and his father drives away. Parker thanks the police. His father offers: “Good job buddy. I am thoroughly impressed.”
There is a corresponding video which is filmed outside the Ector County Courthouse in Texas after a judge ordered Parker to resume living with his mother over his continuing objections. Father resumes video of the police as they once again, respectfully navigate this awful day. While police and his natural parents stand across each other in the court’s parking lot Parker decides to sit alone in a parking space. It appears that eight or more adult individuals; parents, step-parents and cops are standing around while he sits. Then a police officer spends 20 minutes trying to reason with him. Eventually Parker gets into his mother’s vehicle and is driven away
Four months ago Caleb Leverett posted a new video. He’s walking on the beach. He’s offering life advice including management of custodial arrangements. This one goes on for 30 minutes. But in it he seems to now “get” how much of his life and his resources were squandered on fighting over custody.
For every child killed by accident, one dies from homicide or suicide. From 2007-2018 the suicide rate among children 10-14 tripled. If you watch the 2013 and the current videos, you may begin to understand why.
We were all once Parker’s age and just about all of us had conflict with our parents at a time when we wanted to be treated as adults. Parker became angry with his mother; perhaps with justification, perhaps not. So, he took a stand and the world froze. His father professed he was “manning up” even though it meant directly violating a court order. Cops with guns, handcuffs and tasers professed that they were powerless to act not just outside of mom’s home but in a parking lot just outside a courthouse where a commissioned judge just ruled. Parker didn’t just lose his argument to live with his father. No, he triumphantly sat in a parking lot showing the world that no one had power over him. After all, by acting out, he had gotten what he wanted for months while the world waited for a judge to decide if Parker would get his way.
This reflects the core of the child custody litigation crisis. Court orders have become suggestions and when that occurs the rules of law begin to collapse. Courts make improvident decisions every day. But if the rule of law does not prevail, society careens toward chaos. In Pennsylvania children at Parker’s age can be tried as adults, reflecting their capacity to understand wrongful conduct.
The current juvenile system is already overburdened. But a child over 12 should be informed that if he or she will not comply with a court’s order they can be adjudicated as dependent. Section 6302 of the Juvenile Act states that a child is dependent when he “(6) has committed a specific act or acts of habitual disobedience of the reasonable and lawful commands of his parent, guardian or other custodian and who is ungovernable and found to be in need of care, treatment or supervision.” To be clear, the writer’s purpose is not to begin housing the thousands of children who every day “defy” their parents. Rather, it is to send a clear message to all children that the court will decide where they live in the short term and it may not be with either parent. Most kids will find the accommodations of either parent vastly more tolerable than an institutional setting. The goal here is compliance with court orders, not punishment. But the threat of punishment does often focus the eye on better alternatives.
Children don’t belong in the backs of squad cars. But once placed there by men and women who have badges, handcuffs and weapons, children also quickly realize that their untenable conduct may produce a thoroughly unpleasant result.
In the meantime, every parent who is experiencing conflict over child management after separation should have to watch Parker’s odyssey of long ago and hopefully realize that a day may come when they will be the focus of their child’s anger and they could easily find themselves spending a Sunday afternoon enduring the struggle so graphically recorded by Mr. Leverett.