The more I read about modern estate planning, the more bizarre it becomes. Here’s the title from an on line publication called The Street. “Fidelity reveals a type of trust heirs won’t know exists.” Let’s set aside the poor word choice and dig into the substance.

Many of us are surprised by how much wealth time and circumstance have brought us. We began poor or modestly comfortable, and through luck, years of work, and disciplined saving, we accumulated far more than we will ever need. We raised our children to be modest and hardworking. We want them to enjoy the security and benefits of our wealth, but we certainly do not want them spending it on fast cars and resort vacations to places we cannot spell or find on a map.

So, Fidelity has a plan for you. You set up a trust and load it up with securities that they will charge handsomely to “manage.” Your children will live like ordinary citizens until they attain a certain age or a defined event (e.g., your death) occurs and voila, Fidelity will reach out to your progeny and announce: “Congratulations, you are now getting part of $10 million, $20 million, $100 million dollars. Terms apply so contact your trust administrator.”

Charles Dickens would enjoy this. First, rare are the parents that truly keep their wealth a complete secret. There are usually tell-tale signs. They live in a modest house and don’t belong to a club but they have never flown “commercial” or when Pops goes hunting, it’s for stag in Scotland. The car is a Cadillac but the suits are custom. We all have these idiosyncrasies but the wealthier you become the more you can indulge.

Now, flip it around. You went to Penn State and not Swarthmore. You noticed your parents have eccentricities, but you lived in a normal neighborhood and the cars were Caddies. You got a normal job and are living a normal life with your otherwise normal spouse and kids. The last of your parents dies. You are now 45 years old and you get a Fidelity Investment letter that seems more like what once came from Publishers Clearing House. “Sorry for your loss. You now have $5 million and the remaining $5 million vests when you reach age 50. Very truly yours, Fidelity.”

Do you quit your job? Put the kids in private school? Botox? Condo in Negril? You know your parents would say to get some nice clothes and maybe fish in Alaska. But that was their fantasy while they chose not to spend it all. This is your bat at the plate. Doesn’t that make it your choice?

As a kid from a modest means family who grew up around wealthy Philadelphians this was all prescribed. Of course you sent the kids to private school. You vacationed in Northeast Harbor. You belonged to the Philadelphia Club and golfed at the cricket club. You drove handsome but never ostentatious cars, and your clothing was retail but never flashy. Anything left over was reserved for the next generation to live in exactly the same way.

Those days are gone. There is money flying everywhere. Last December Elon Musk won a $55 billion incentive payment for his contributions to Tesla. Your neighbor’s kid who used to sit your dog when you were on vacation just got a $5 million signing bonus with an open AI start up you can’t even name. It used to be that families “taught” their kids how to be wealthy. Today, Fidelity just told you that your entire world just changed. You knew your parents were well off but never this.

Imagine it’s Friday night and you’re sitting in your $700,000 house with your 20 year spouse and your two teenage kids. You are doing the dinnertime roundtable. The 15 year old made varsity soccer. The 13 year old joined the chorus. Your spouse was just elected to the school board. Any news from you? “Yea, got a letter from Fidelity that $10 million is en route. Half now, half in five years.”  “Oh, that’s nice. WHAT?”

The Fidelity “plan” is amusing but silly. If you want your kids to earn their wealth, make a trust that ensures they will be protected from death or other calamities but otherwise let’s them make their own way. If you want them to enjoy the fruits of your luck or labor have that discussion NOW and then “plan accordingly.” But don’t dump money on your kids and just expect it will work out as you wish. Even Charles Dickens would agree with that; as would Pip.

Addendum: Here’s another approach from the Wall Street Journal. A bit too touchy-feely for this writer’s taste. Wealthy Families Are Writing Mission Statements to Avoid Fights, Lost Fortunes

From a Source called Freightwire 9/8/26; Woman inherits $5 million and goes wild — 42% of heirs spend it all within a year