Greetings, Simple Justice readers! Your humble humorist, Chris Seaton, is back to sling some Friday funny at you, and this week we’re diving headfirst into the Lycra-clad, obstacle-dodging, sweat-soaked spectacle that is American Ninja Warrior. Because nothing screams “American Dream”
Latest from Simple Justice
Trump Hits Bottom With Jeanine Pirro
It’s unfair to argue whether the now-withdrawn nominee, Ed Martin as United States Attorney for the District of Columbia, is worse than the new nominee, former Westchester, NY, County Court judge and District Attorney, Jeanine Pirro. As discussed here,
Using AI, Judge Considers Dead Victim Impact
Step aside Max Headroom, Chris Pelkey is in the courtroom. Well, not really, but close enough for Judge Todd Lang in Arizona.
Chris Pelkey was killed in a road rage shooting in Chandler, Arizona, in 2021.
Three and a half
Dismissed Cases In Immigration Hands
It was surprising to learn that ICE and Homeland Security Secretary and model, Kristi Noem, were demonizing the wrongly renditioned Kilmar Abrego Garcia based on domestic violence allegations that had long since been dismissed. On the one hand, it was
Tuesday Talk*: Suddenly, He Doesn’t Know?
He’s smarter than the generals. He’s smarter than the doctors. But he’s clueless when it comes to law?
Is there any acceptable answer to the question of whether “persons” are entitled to due process other than “yes”? And yet, when
The National Security Threat Of . . . Movies?
The invocation of power by calling anything an emergency or national security problem was a gaping hole in Congress’ sloughing off responsibility and authority to do its job to the president. It presumed that the president wouldn’t be so shameless
Paying Off The Insurrection Martyr
It’s one thing to pardon or commute the sentence of every defendant involved in the insurrection of January 6. It’s another to propose the return of restitution by the insurrectionists, the “roughly $400,000 collected” to cover the roughly $3 million
Seaton: Sheriff Roy And The Grassy Knoll Gunplay Gambit
The neon sign outside the Grassy Knoll Pub flickered like a drunk firefly as Sheriff Roy Templeton pulled his cruiser into the gravel lot. Mud Lick, Alabama, wasn’t known for high drama unless you counted the time Leroy Buckshot swore
Judge Rodriguez Enjoins Invocation Of AEA, But…
In a ruling that was both surprising and remarkably unsurprising, Southern District of Texas Judge Fernando Rodriguez Jr. issued a permanent injunction barring the removal of people under the Alien Enemies Act. It was surprising only because Judge Rodriguez was appointed
The DOGE Death of Privacy
It’s not as if Trump or Musk came up with the idea that the government wants to know more about you, about each of us, than we wanted to tell. Remember the efforts to prohibit cash in favor of plastic