FLORIDA: Secretly living in the closet… We learn that a Louisiana man was arrested for secretly living in the closet of a 15-year-olsd girl for nearly a month in 2020, while they were allegedly having sex, according to police. Johnathon Rossmoine, 36, was discovered by the teenager’s parents at their home in Spring Hill, Florida, after he met the girl online two years ago. Rossmoine was jailed on child-sex charges. SOME SAY THAT SEX WITH A 15-YEAR-OLD WILL GET YOU 20!
UNTED KINGDOM: The headline read, “What the Flock?” It has been reported that a student in England left the window of his dorm room opened and returned months later to find it was invaded by pigeons. Oluwageorge Johnson, 20, fled Nottingham Trent University amid the coronavirus crisis in March and was surprised to discover eggs in his sink and a baby bird in his clothes. Unfortunately, the young Mr. Johnson’s dorm room was covered in pigeons’ droppings.
UNTED KINGDOM: The headline simply read, “FREEZE! A man swiped a bright pink ice cream truck and led police on a wild chase through a town in England, authorities said. Police in Nottinghamshire tried to pull over the frozen treats truck –which was covered in painted Disney cartoon characters, but the cold-hearted culprit allegedly hit the gas. However, the 22-year-old driver eventually surrendered his unusual getaway vehicle.
UNITED KINGDOM: A very strange farm? It has been reported that cannabis plants worth thousands of dollars have been found in bunkers constructed from shipping containers in England. The underground discovery was made when police raided a farm in Lincolnshire. Officers also found tons of illegal waste, 22 horses, six stolen cars – and one llama.
UNITED KINGDOM: High and Dry, literary? A British college student got stuck in a clothes dryer after a booze-fueled stunt went off the rails during a party in the first part of the month. Firefighters in Hull England were called to rescue 21-year-old Rosie Cole who, after a couple of bottles of wine and honey tequila, was dared to entertain her roommates with a contortionist act.
RUSSIA: Russky Prisoner Poet? We learn that a former top aide to Vladimir Putin has reinvented himself as a poet. Vladislaw Surkov spent seven years as a Kremlin insider and top Ukraine policy expert before being dismissed in February. His poem was published in the magazine Russky Prisoner. The opening lines of his poem read, “I’m alone again; I was given freedom; who needs cocaine; when there’s this air.”