FLORIDA: The headline read, “He wanted humps for bumps.” A Mayor allegedly promised to get speed bumps installed in a woman’s neighborhood in exchange for sex. Catherine Padilla filed a complaint earlier this year accusing Lantana mayor David Stewart, who took her to a hotel after a lunch meeting and making the indecent proposal. The politician “misused his position to attempt to obtain a sexual benefit for himself,” the Florida Commission on Ethics determined. GERMANY:…

CANADA: He was gone to the dogs… Police in Ontario were called to keep a man from barking and howling in front of his neighbor’s door in the middle of the night. Police say the “barker” was trying to give the neighbor a taste of his own medicine, because the neighbor’s dogs howled at all hours. Both men were given warnings to follow local noise laws. FLORIDA: The headline read, “Inmate a beast.” A jail…

CHINA: “Im-paw-sters!” read the headline. It has been reported that a “panda” café was raided by police for dying dogs black and white to pass them off as the adorable panda cubs. The owner of the unidentified café in Chengdu claimed to have six giant panda cubs to lure bear lovers. He later confessed to painting Chow Chow dogs. COLORADO: MAYHEM …  A woman broke into a firehouse, ransacked the place and flooded it with…

GERMANY: “How dairy she,” read the headline. It has been reported that a woman is under investigation for assault after she allegedly sprayed a ticket taker aboard a tram with fresh from-the source breast milk. The ticket taker had ordered the woman and a male pal to get off at the next stop in the town of Gelsenkirchen because they hadn’t paid the fare. ALABMA: He’s in the doghouse now, maybe? A pet doggie inadvertently…

NEW YORK CITY: PERVERT? A Queens man was charged with a record 17,725-count criminal indictment for allegedly downloading thousands of images and videos of babies and children being sexually abused, the Queens district attorney said in mid-January 2019. Vishal Lalbarry, 30, of Jamaica was arraigned on charges that include promoting a sexual performance by a child and sexual misconduct because he also had 16 videos of himself having sex with a dog. VIRGINIA: Mr. Peeper…

FLORIDA: Too excited about Christmas shopping, maybe? A man was arrested in early December at a Target store for trying to have sex with a large stuffed animal snowman, according to police. Cody Meader, 20, allegedly dry humped the toy Olaf – one of the characters from the Disney film “Frozen”—along with a unicorn doll. HORNEY! FLORIDA: The headline reads, “Baby’s first rifle. We learn that Veronica Alvarez bought a $9.99 baby shower gift from…

KANSAS: Giant Glowing penis?  Shelby Gash, 24, built a giant glowing penis out of holiday lights on the rood of her home in Lenexa. She says she did it to give passers-by “a laugh.” Her neighbors complained that this Christmas “package” was no gift, and inappropriate for children. Once a local TV station aired the complaints, she took down the light up junk. MAINE: Death by booby trap? Ronald Cyr, 65, was fatally injured on…