Divorce can be a lengthy, expensive and emotionally draining process, particularly when parties end up in court fighting over assets and children. It can also feel like an invasion of privacy since most divorce filings and proceedings are a matter of public record. If you are anxious about these issues, mediation might be something worth considering.

Mediation is a form of dispute resolution in which divorcing spouses work with a neutral third-party mediator to identify key issues of contention, discuss each side’s concerns, and negotiate a settlement that’s agreeable to both sides. Once the settlement is agreed upon, it’s memorialized in a legally enforceable contract that lays out the terms.

Mediation typically takes six months or less, compared to court proceedings that often take more than a year. A quicker process usually also means less in legal costs.

Beyond the time factor, mediation offers more flexibility in scheduling than court proceedings. Rather than adhering to the schedule of a backlogged court, the parties and the mediator can set a calendar tailored to the parties’ needs, making the process more efficient and less disruptive.

Additionally, mediation is private, so the parties don’t need to worry about private matters being exposed in a family court that is open to the public. And should mediation ultimately not work and the parties end up in court, matters discussed in mediation are considered confidential in most states and can’t be brought into court as evidence.

Mediation further enables parties to work with a mediator to craft creative solutions to complex disputes over real estate, financial investments, and especially issues of child custody, parenting and support. Rather than being stuck with a rigid formula that often binds judges, the mediator can work with parties to create a detailed, customized plan.

However, mediation isn’t for everyone. When conflict overwhelms communication, the process may stall. Taking time to evaluate whether mediation aligns with your circumstances can help you choose the most productive way to move ahead.


Rob Hagy is a Virginia divorce and family law attorney serving Charlottesville, Virginia, and surrounding communities. You can see more content from Rob at www.charlottesvilledivorceattorney.com and at www.virginiafamilylawjournal.com.

Photo of Rob Hagy Rob Hagy

Robert (“Rob”) R. Hagy, II Esq. is the owner and proprietor of the Law Offices of Rob Hagy, P.C. established in August, 2004 and located in Charlottesville, Virginia.  Mr. Hagy practices all aspects of Family and Divorce Law in the juvenile and circuit…

Robert (“Rob”) R. Hagy, II Esq. is the owner and proprietor of the Law Offices of Rob Hagy, P.C. established in August, 2004 and located in Charlottesville, Virginia.  Mr. Hagy practices all aspects of Family and Divorce Law in the juvenile and circuit courts of the cities and counties constituting Central Virginia (Charlottesville, Albemarle, Greene, Nelson, Louisa, Fluvanna, Orange, and Buckingham).  He is also available to consult with other attorneys in other jurisdictions around the Commonwealth and to represent clients in other jurisdictions around the Commonwealth as well.

Mr. Hagy graduated from Richlands High School in 1989.  In 1993, Mr. Hagy graduated from the University with a B.A. in History and a minor in the Environmental Sciences. While at Virginia, Mr. Hagy was a member of and eventually president of Alpha Delta Phi Fraternity.  He completed his academic career as a member of the Phi Alpha Theta History Academic Honors Society and the Order of Omega.  He received his J.D. from George Mason University in 1996.  Mr. Hagy was a member of the George Mason Law Review where he served as a Notes Editor in 1996.

Mr. Hagy began practicing in Charlottesville, Virginia in 1998 and came to Fluvanna County in 2002 to practice.  He served as the Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney for Fluvanna County for two years from 2002 until 2004.

He is a member of the American Bar Association’s Section of Family Law, the Family Law Section of the Virginia State Bar, the Domestic Relations Section of the Virginia Bar Association, the Charlottesville Albemarle Bar Association, and the Family Law Section of the Virginia Trial Lawyers Association.